


Let's talk Christmas

by shelby_love



Series: Lee Christmas [1]
Category: The Expendables (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Protective Lee Christmas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 07:28:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29131842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shelby_love/pseuds/shelby_love
Summary: In which the reader is sent by Church to join the Expendables on a mission in Albania.
Relationships: Lee Christmas & Barney Ross, Lee Christmas & Reader, Lee Christmas x Reader, Lee Christmas x You, Lee Christmas/Barney Ross
Series: Lee Christmas [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2137698
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Let's talk Christmas

The door of the SUV opened and closed within seconds, letting in just the right amount of cold air into the luxurious car.

Barney Ross wasn't someone you were afraid of by any means, given that the two of you played on the same side. Paid mercenaries, that's what both of you were. Only one was older than the other.

"Is it true that you are the," You flipped through your files absentmindedly. "- fastest sharpshooting handgun shooter and re-loader on the team?"

Barney raised an eyebrow, "Sure."

"Hmm," You mused, flipping through the pages some more. "Well… I'm Y/N Y/LN, and if my files are correct; you must be Barney Ross."

He nodded vaguely, extending his muscled arm out and reaching for the files. Lack of facial response wasn't uncommon in this line of work, so his somewhat annoyed look didn't even scratch the surface of your feelings. As you two sat in the car, discussing the most confidential government business neither one of you showed emotion. The files that held the most gore photos didn't bring out a single emotion to your face because that's how paid mercenaries were.

But Barney Ross had emotions. Under the car light, his face turned the faintest shade of surprised when he flipped through the photos. It gave you comfort, knowing that he didn't seem to be the merciless killer Church had described him as.

"I was told you throw bombs for fun."

You rolled your eyes, not quite believing your ears.

"And that you're the best bomb-specialist on the field."

"It looks like you have a file about me too, Barney."

He shrugged, "I have my ways."

You placed yourself more comfortably into your seat, watching him climb out from the corner of your eye. "Tell your men to bring a coat, Barney. It's cold in Albania."

A chuckle finally broke out when the butterfly door of your sports car started to automatically close.

You sped off to your apartment after that, feeling quite pleased with yourself.

***

The next morning, at 5 A.M. sharp, you drove yourself to the tarmac where Barney said they'll be waiting. Thinking about what's to come wasn't something you thought about prior to meeting the rest of his team; this was just another mission after all.

You did skim over their files, enjoying the fun facts you discovered while reading between the lines.

One man in particular had caught your attention in a way you hoped wouldn't come to. Lee Christmas, second-in command of the team and Barney Ross’s right hand. Something close to a best friend. You knew immediately things needed to start off right with him.

Your equipment felt light as ever as you slung it over your shoulder. You leaned in to take out your suitcase gently, not wanting to blow up the whole tarmac with the explosives nested inside.

A group of men was plotting around the aircraft, connecting their strengths to load the crates into the plane. The sight didn't intimidate you because the men who hired you did.

"Honey you're at the wrong place," a voice interrupted you, "We're not going to Paris."

You sighed, genuinely not wanting to have to explain yourself. Turning around you recognized the man to be Toll Road, the crews very own demolitions expert.

A person you wanted to befriend.

You placed on a smile that had a bigger seductive curve than you had hoped for it to have, "Toll Road, right?"

He raised a brow before a smirk broke out, "Yeah. Who are you?"

"Y/N," you said simply. "Do you know where Barney is?"

The smirk vanished, "What do you want with him?"

You looked at him, deadpanned. "Unbelievable…"

Walking away from the man, you ignored his shouts of need, deciding to search for the big man himself. Annoyed with the fact that you weren't even announced, you strolled inside the waiting plane. Walking straight into the cockpit was an immediate decision.

Barney sat in the front, doing what looked like bickering with a man you failed to recognize from the back. You leaned against the man's seat, nonchalantly looking at the man in charge. "Good to know I'm wanted here."

The man jumped from his seat, muttering an exclamation with the name of Jesus Christ in his mouth. An accent.

That had to be Lee Christmas.

"Explain yourself," you started. "Barney."

"Who the hell is she?" He exclaimed, swiftly turning to look at you, though stopping ever so slightly at the sight of you. "Who the hell are you?"

"I was hoping Barney could explain," you mused, turning to the older man who smirked at what had unfolded.

"He's a demented idiot," Lee muttered, "He won't say shit to save his damn life."

"Is that so?" You raised your brows, "Good to know who I'll be going to battle with then."

Christmas' eyes narrowed, he looked at Barney sternly, like he couldn't believe his ears and by the time he turned around to look at you, you had already disappeared outside, leaving nothing but a trail of audible footsteps behind you.

"Please tell me this is some kind of early twisted April fool's prank."

Barney shook his head, "Nope. Church sent her."

"Unbelievable."

"What?" Ross teased with a smile, "I thought you'd like her. It sure looked like it."

Lee turned behind him once again trying to find you with his eyes, "That's beside the point."

"If you say so."

***

"Is he always like that?" You asked your fellow explosives professional quietly, awkwardly sitting under Gunner's pinning gaze.

"More or less, yeah," he mumbled, eyes switching from his book to you and then to Gunner who had his eyes trained on you like a puppy.

Shaking your head, you stood up to go talk to Barney.

"Did your guys ever see a girl or is there something on my face?"

"Beauty!" Yelled Gunner from the back. It urged you to squeeze even further between Barney and Lee. You shivered uncomfortably.

"He's not wrong," commented Barney, glancing at you from the corner of his eye. He was amused to say the least. "Grab a chair and take a seat."

You pretended not to notice the way Lee's eyes widened and chose a small stool to place between them. "Entertain me."

Christmas swallowed heavily, every sarcastic remark dying on his tongue.

***

You walked over the hill with what looked like ease, carrying your guns and explosives securely. Behind you the rest of the Expendables team carried on with a little less effort than you, though not lacking behind.

Like a magnet, your eyes darted toward the right-hand of the team. Watching as he trekked up the hill, his muscled arms holding the gun while knifes were secured to his waist – it brought out something in you.

Heat and its color perhaps.

Swiftly, you turned around to focus on the task at hand.

"So what?" Barney told his close friend, "You throw knives, she throws bombs. You're practically made for each other."

Lee glanced ahead of him, admiring your agility and trying the best in his ability to not drag his eyes over your body. "Why don't you mind your own damn business."

"You are my business."

_"Oh, I'm flattered."_

***

"I saved your ass back there. You should be grateful!"

You ignored Lee with a roll of your eyes, pushing through the debris to get to the flying boat. "You didn't have to."

"The hell I didn't!"

Offended, you turned around to finally talk. "Look," you started. "I don't know what kind of hero complex you have, but I wasn't there to shoot people. I was there to disable the bomb traps. Which I did. You got out because _I_ saved _your_ ass."

"Doesn't change the fact-"

You silenced him with your finger and much to your surprise he obeyed, "You saved me from being shot _because_ I saved your English ass from being blown up into a million other English pieces."

"Would you both just shut up?" You heard Toll Road mumble, though not too close to you.

Following Road's mumble came Gunner's addition, "-And kiss."

"You both saved each other," Barney interrupted before you could give them a piece of your mind. He carried himself coolly despite being injured, "Take it or leave it."

You could see the wheels in Lee's bald head move, almost to the point smoke was going to appear. "I say we shake on it,"

Tasting his words in your mind, you eventually extended your hand. "I agree."

Nodding to himself, Christmas grasped your smaller yet equally rough hand in his and shook it firmly.

You tried your best to ignore the way his hand felt in yours and turned around, throwing your hair over your shoulder.

Lee watched as you stalked to the plane, they all did.

"No one touches her," he suddenly announced. "She's mine."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, you lovely person! If you liked what you read you can check out my Tumblr writing account under @shelby-love and dive in to see my other work! Much love x


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